Is it okay to be ungrateful sometimes because you don't want to owe someone back later on?

I don't want to sound selfish or anything but, I recently finished school and found a well paying job at a law firm. I have ti pay off 3 years worth of student loans.

So my dad comes in and tells me "I will pay for half of your loans", and I told him that I don't want him or my mom paying any of it because they may ask me to do something for them in the future and when I don't want to do it then they are going to be like "well I helped you pay for…".

And also recently went to a Chevy dealership to inquire about getting a car. My dad said to get a Honda so he can help put a down payment on it. I said I wanted a Chevy. Then he tells me "You're going to regret getting that car. I'm not putting a down payment on an American car". Thing is, I never asked him once to do anything.

Stuff like this has been going over for like 10 years in my family. They want me to live with the same values as them, why? Am I not my own person?

I never told them this, but sometimes I just wish I was never born. When I was a kid and teen they always scolded me for not doing things their way like going to Church, not going out to certain concerts etc…

Is it time to move out? Or should I wait until I have enough money?

PS: When I move out I probably won't tell them at all.

It's time to move out. Don't buy a car now unless your current one is useless. If it is useless buy a used car.

You sound ridiculous.

Not really, they are just trying to help you out, youre lucky, both my parents are gone and siblings won't help me

You have reached a point in your life that is urging you to be independent and to make your own choices. You parents sound like they still feel responsible for you. Don't accept help if you can go it alone, but don't assume that you will be coerced into an unacceptable situation in the future. Let them know that you're ready to live on your own and to make your won choices. Don't be so cruel as to disappear without them knowing. I realize that you feel trapped, but you don't have to hurt them in order to be free of them. You're not being ungrateful. That sounds like something they'd want you to feel.

You are mature enough to makw your own choices and I applaud you for not letting your father use his money to force you to follow his preferences. You will feel better about yourself if you make your own way and have no obligations. Good for you!

First world problems.

Move out but tell your parents why. Explain how you feel and try not to get into an argument with them. They won't change their belief now, people especially after 40 or 50 can't change that easily. And it is ok. They are the only parents you will have and you might feel like you hate or resent them, but when they are no longer here you will miss them dearly. Also, I think your dad is genuinely trying to help you but he is doing it the only way he knows how - by giving you money.

Just stay Away dear…

You have a very good head on your shoulders good sir. Continue to follow your intuition.

First, with the student loan, not sure if you are allowed to pay off the principal in advance. From what I remember, they don't let you do that because they don't want to lose the interest and any over-payment gets applied to future interest. You might want to look into that and tell your dad thanks, but THEY won't let you or him to that.

Next, you don't want to hear this but your dad is right. Chevys suck. Most GM products suck. Never buy a GM product made prior to 2009 because of the faulty electrical systems. Most were recalled to fix that problem but you don't want to take that chance.

People who can afford to 'keep' other people have a psychological need to be in charge. This is your dad's way of keeping control over you. Most parents can't wait to get the kids to leave, some can't get over it and do everything they can to keep you dependent on them.

When your dad won't take, "Thanks, dad, but I've got this covered" for an answer, sit him down and make sure he understands that he raised you to be smart, independent and it's time to let you do this yourself.