Which of these cruisers and tourers is most nimble, lightest and handles well?

I want to ride a motorcycle but hate maintaining one. I sold my bike for that reason - I have too many other things going on, to spend time cleaning a bike and maintaining it. So I figured I'd just rent a bike when I get the itch to ride.

Now the problem is, the only motorcycle rental near me is a fleet of Harley cruisers and massive touring bikes. I enjoy something more lightweight, nimble like an "upright bike" or a streetbike. I don't need a sportbike but an upright like a Bonneville or a V7 stone would be great. I just want to have some fun around the city streets, I don't plan to do any touring. Even an 883 would do, but the rental place doesn't have them.

So of these bikes which one would be best handling and lightest?:
- Harley FLHR Road King
- Harley Ultra Classic Electra Glide
- Harley FLHX Street Glide Special
- Harley Heritage Softail Classic
- Harley FXDC Super Glide Custom
- Honda Gold Wing 1800 Deluxe
- BMW K1600GT
- BMW R1200RT
- BMW R1200GS
- Honda ST1300 ABS

Unfortunately all of these bikes seem to be extremely tall, long, wide and heavy. Which of these do you think will come closest to what I'm looking for?

The super glide is the lightest, narrowest, and lowest of the ones on that list that I know. But I know nothing about the BMWs

Of all the bikes you have listed my choice would be the BMW R1200GS. Sits a bit tall but it handles pretty good for a large dual-sport as long as it has good tires on it. Next on the list would be the BMW R1200RT, bit heavier than the GS but it rides well for a sporty-tourer. My two-cents.

The Super Glide or the ST1300… The Superglide is probably closest to what you want. All of the Harley touring bikes (FLH?) are very large and heavy. The Heritage (Softail) is a little smaller but just as wide. The Goldwing is the same size as the big Harley touring bikes. The Beamers are very tall, otherwise excellent bikes. The Honda ST1300 may be too tall as well.

That leave the Superglide, the base model of the Dyna series, but still a 650-700 pound bike. Sits low, fairly narrow for a bike with a 103ci engine.

Of all the bikes on your list, the BMW R-1200GS is the lightest by a wide margin. It's also the best handling, by a wide margin (you can even take it off road, if you felt like it). The GS is a genuine "all rounder" - none of the others on your list are.

Go with the BMW lineup a GS can be a lot of fun. And the 1600gt is great