Why am I controlling? Angry? I wish I could change?

I Really NEED ADVICE! I'm a 20 yo female

I'm a person who typically wants to help EVERYONE with EVERYTHING. It could be the smallest or biggest things, doesn't matter. When I help someone I feel really good about myself…

Well recently I have been told by several of my closest family members that I'm extremely controlling and I get mad over things that aren't my business…

I realize that this is true. I get mad over things that other people do that don't even involve me. I don't go around screaming or punching things I just bottle things up so that I don't sound controlling and then I suffer for the next two days with a headache because of stress.

Example: ( I made it up so you can see my thought process from my point of view)

Let's say you're my aunt/uncle. You want to buy a Buick, I know from my boss that Buicks break because she only had her car for 2 years and she started to have multiple issues with it. I also know from my father who has owned a honda for the last 7 years that the car hasn't had ANY issues. Now I start trying to persuade you into realizing that you're making a mistake for getting an unreliable car… Etc… You don't listen… So now I can't help but feel extreme anger inside towards you for not taking my advice. I feel it to the point where I PHYSICALLY feel pressure in my chest, kind of like my lungs are be held down by a rock.

How can I just NOT CARE about what OTHERS do? I Don't wanna be cocky but I often feel smarter than others.

I would try to talk to a therapist about this or take an anger management course. Therapy might be better though, because it sounds like you're more controlling than angry.

I know this feeling, I do this too. Your trying to control your surroundings and the people in it so you don't get hurt. I'm guessing as child you didn't have a lot of control, your parents are divorced or abuse of some sort or something along those lines. I do that because I want to feel a level of control over people that way I know I won't get hurt. But I'm learning that doing this is making people miserable (and not want to me around me which makes me more depressed) and most of all its making myself miserable. Try and think if what your trying to control will matter in 5 years, 10 years? And realize if its worth your sanity and health to get all amped up. Choice your battles. It won't happen natural for you.

Get mad and get bad beat up your entire family and pick on some loser nerd punks